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You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I ever wanted in a friend.
One glass of wine away from telling everyone what I really think.
I never said I would die without coffee. I said other people would.
Today's Goal: Keep the tiny humans alive
Our friendship has saved me a fortune in therapy. Thank you.
I'm going to be the life of the party (as long as it all ends by 8:30 pm)
I'm not bossy. I just know what you should be doing.
I'm not saying I am Wonder Woman. I'm saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.
I just wanna be a stay-at-home dog mom.
How do I like my eggs? Umm, in a cake.
I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for diner.
My dream job would be driving the karma bus.
Everyone thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. PLEASE... Every girl's dream is to eat without getting fat.
Coffee is good for the heart. Friends are good for the soul.
I won't be remembered as a woman who kept her mouth shut. I'm OK with that.
I've lost my mind. I'm pretty sure the kids took it.
Life is short. Spend it with people who make you laugh and feel loved.
Step aside coffee. This is a job for alcohol.
My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations.
Underestimate me. That will be fun.
Strength (image of cross)
I'll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte to go, please.
Some days its nice to just relax and have a cocktail and then, other days it's nice to just relax and have a cocktail.
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