Kitchen Towels

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I need is a little bit of coffee and a whole lotta Jesus

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I never said I would die without coffee. I said other people would.

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I never said I would die without coffee. I said other people would. / Natural Kitchen Towel

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I used to have a handle on life. But the handle broke off.

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I want to be a mature adult. I really do. But I also want to eat ice cream and wear pajamas all day. Do you see my dilemma here?

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I was diagnosed with OCCABD. Obsessive, compulsive, cursing, angry bitch disorder. There is no cure.

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I wish I was the person I thought I could … Towel

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I won’t be remembered as a woman who kept her mouth shut. I’m OK with that.

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I’d love to, but my dog said no.

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I’ll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte to go, please.

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I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want.… Towel

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I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if it runs out, I’ll drink the red.

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I’m going to be the life of the party (as long as it all ends by 8:30 pm)

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I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for diner.

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I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for dinner. / Natural Kitchen Towel

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I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.

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I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry. / Natural Kitchen Towel

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If a donut falls on the ground and you pick it up.. that’s a squat right / Kitchen Towel

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If our dog likes you, we like you too. – Artist: Lynn Sanchelli

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If there was an elf on the shelf in this house, he would most likely need therapy.

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