White Kitchen Towels

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You know what takes longer than a kid telling a story? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

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Have kids, they said. It will be fun, they said.

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If there was an elf on the shelf in this house, he would most likely need therapy.

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Rock out with your crock out / Kitchen Tea Towel

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Naughty, nice, I tried (checkboxes)

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You will always be the sister of my soul, and the friend of my heart.

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When you hear a southern girl yell, “Oh, Hell no!” you’d better run.

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Dear Liver, It is going to be a rough month… STAY STRONG.

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It’s ok if you fall apart sometimes… Tacos fall part and we still love them / Kitchen Towel

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When in doubt Pull it Out / Kitchen Tea Towel

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I’m on my second guardian angel. The first quit and is now in therapy / Kitchen Towel

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My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations.

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Dear Karma, I have a list of people you forgot.

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Silent night, holy night

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They say God only gives you what you can handle. Apparently, God thinks I’m a badass.

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I just wanna stay home … my cat Towel

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Sarcasm (noun) The brain’s natural defense against dumb.

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My cooking is so awesome, even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

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I live in a madhouse ruled by a tiny army that I made myself.

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