White Kitchen Towels

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If you met my family you would understand

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I never said I would die without coffee. I said other people would.

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I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I can get done in an entire week.

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I accidentally sent my husband the kissy face emoji instead of the angry face, and now he thinks I like him.

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This home runs on love, laughter and inappropriate humor / Kitchen Towel

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You will always be the sister of my soul, and the friend of my heart.

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Unless your parenting advice includes which wine pairs best with six loads of laundry, kindly keep it to yourself.

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Bacon (noun) The reason I am not a vegetarian.

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You’re Not Drinking Alone If The Dog Is Home Kitchen Towel

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If you have to ask if it is too early to drink wine, you’re an amateur and we can’t be friends.

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I want to be a mature adult. I really do. But I also want to eat ice cream and wear pajamas all day. Do you see my dilemma here?

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Dishes then Wine … actually I’ll skip the dishes / Kitchen Towel

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I feel like I should clean the house … Towel

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Sorry for what I said during the football game.

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I used to have a handle on life. But the handle broke off.

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How do I like my eggs? Umm, in a cake.

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My cooking is so awesome even the smoke alarm cheers me on / Kitchen Towel

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I love that you’re my mom White Kitchen Towel

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Life is too short to just have one cat.

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Apparently, “alcohol” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

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