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When I win the lottery, I’m going to wait to share the money with my kids for as long as it took them to clean up like I asked them…18 years should be about right.

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When do we usually find out who the teachers are for next year? I hope it isn’t me.

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We go together like moonshine and a mason jar.

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To some, it’s just water. To me, it’s where I regain my sanity. / Natural Kitchen Towel

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The captain is always right.

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Take me back to Yellowstone

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Strength (cross in place of T)

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Speak kindly to yourself today.

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Some women dream of a day at the spa. I dream of a trip to the grocery store all by myself.

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Settle down. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

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Quarantine drinking game: Take a drink every time you hear “MOM!” Just kidding. Don’t do that. You will die.

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One martini, two martini, three martini, Floor!

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Observations four hours into homeschooling: Teachers need to make more than professional athletes, actors and CEOs.

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Never trust a skinny cook.

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My kid ranked all his teachers today. I came in last place. So, yeah, homeschooling is going great.

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