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I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could.

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I was socially isolating before it was cool.

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I was going to throw in the towel, but then I remembered how much laundry I already have to do.

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I was going to throw in the towel but then I remembered how much laundry I already have / Grey Kitchen Towel

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I was going to bake you a cake, but alcohol sounded much better.

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I was diagnosed with OCCABD. Obsessive, compulsive, cursing, angry bitch disorder. There is no cure.

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I was cleaning my kitchen when suddenly I realized, OMG I’m late for Facebook!!! / 10″x10″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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I want to go home, but all my kids are there. / 6″x6″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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I want to be a nice person but everyone is just stupid / 6×14 Reclaimed Wood Sign

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I want to be a mature adult. I really do. But I also want to eat ice cream and wear pajamas all day. Do you see my dilemma here?

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I want my kids to be independent & strong-willed…just not while I’m raising them. / 10″x10″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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I usually forget this bag in the car // Large Tote Bag

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I usually forget this bag in the car / Grey Tote Bag

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I used to think a good day of parenting ended with a restful night of sleep. Now I am simply thrilled if we make it to bedtime without a trip to the ER. / 10″x10″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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I used to have a handle on life. But the handle broke off.

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I try to be grateful for the abundance of the blessings that I have / 24″X12″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. / 14″x6″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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I told my wife she should embrace her … / 14″x6″ Wood Sign

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I think it’s time for a trip to the beach / 12×12 Indoor/Outdoor Recycled Plastic Wall Art

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I think I’ll just be happy today. / 10″x10″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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