Kitchen Towels

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People who like to eat are the best… Kitchen Towel

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Mom mommy mom mom mommy mom mom mom mom mom Mom. There’s no better job. / Natural Kitchen Towel

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You know what takes longer than a kid telling a story? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

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After getting the blanket, pillow, drink, snack, and TV show set, I’m pretty sure my toddler just looked at me and mouthed the words “I own you.”..

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I always offer my family two dinner choices. Take it or leave it.

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Made with love and a dash of who gives a shit / Kitchen Towel

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Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion.

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Have kids, they said. It will be fun, they said.

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I drink bourbon because I don’t like to keep things bottled up.

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Our greatest blessings… Grandma and Grandpa Kitchen Towel

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Mom Mommy Mom Mom Mommy Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. There’s no better job.

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If there was an elf on the shelf in this house, he would most likely need therapy.

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I’ll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte to go, please.

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I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry. / Natural Kitchen Towel

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Careful, Free Range Children.

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For the third time this week, I’m buying booze for the next two weeks

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Dieting is hard. I left off the spinkles on my cupcake today. (cupcake image)

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Anyone else feel like they’ve cooked dinner 795 times this month?

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People disappoint…pizza is eternal.

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Now accepting applications for a partner in crime: Must be fluent in smart ass, sarcasm and adult language. Questionable morals and nudity may be required. Slackers need not apply.

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