Kitchen Towels

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Oh Relax Obviously Nothing Is Under Control Kitchen Towel

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Underestimate me. That will be fun.

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The world is a better place because of you.

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She believed she could, so she did

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I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow and each road leads you where you want to go.

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Give yourself some grace today

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Beautiful girl, you can do amazing things

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10:00am: anything is possible 2:00pm: but not today Towel

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I need a Tax Person who’s not afraid of prison / Kitchen Towel

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Being a Trophy Wife is Exhausting / Kitchen Towel

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They say moms placed in a life or death situations with their children develop superhuman strength. Last night during a tantrum, I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth.

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They say God only gives you what you can handle. Apparently, God thinks I’m a badass.

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The good thing about water is that you can have it in your workplace. Now, what’s special about vodka is that it looks like water.

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Ten years ago I was cool. Today I awoke to a child’s finger in my nose, wore pj’s all day and applied antiwrinkle cream. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

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Nothing like a woman with a brilliant mind and an indecent mouth.

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Instead of “single” as my relationship status, I prefer “Independently Owned and Operated.”

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I live in a madhouse ruled by a tiny army that I made myself.

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I don’t always learn my lesson. But when I do, you can bet I learned it the hard way.

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Not to spoil the ending, but everything is going to be OK.

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I am so glad I was wild & crazy before there were cell phones and evidence / Kitchen Towel

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