White Kitchen Towels

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My house would be a lot cleaner if my family didn’t live here.

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My house is not dirty. I just have everything on display. Like a museum.

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I won’t be remembered as a woman who kept her mouth shut. I’m OK with that.

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I have a ton of excitement in my life. (I used to call it stress, but I feel much better now that I call it excitement.)

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Everyone thinks that a girl’s dream is to find the perfect guy. PLEASE… Every girl’s dream is to eat without getting fat.

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Everyone talks about an inner child… Towel

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This kitchen is closed due to illness.

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I can tell by your sarcastic undertones… Towel

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Yes. I am still in my pajamas. What did I accomplish today? The kids are still alive. Say thank you. Now say I’m pretty.

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I was diagnosed with OCCABD. Obsessive, compulsive, cursing, angry bitch disorder. There is no cure.

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Grandma definition White Kitchen Towel

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State Scripted Towel

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This year’s goals: Save $10, Lose 2 lbs, … Towel

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I like my butt rubbed and my pork pulled / Kitchen Tea Towel

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I don’t like Morning People.. Or Mornings.. Or People / Kitchen Towel

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I Do Not Have Ducks Or A Row I Have Squirrels Kitchen Towel

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Some days its nice to just relax and have a cocktail and then, other days it’s nice to just relax and have a cocktail.

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PARENT OF THE YEAR AWARD: Helping your child search for the chocolate you ate last night.

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I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for diner.

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Come here you giant cup of beautiful coffee and lie to me about how much we are going to get done today.

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