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Being a Trophy Wife is Exhausting / Kitchen Towel

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You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.

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They say moms placed in a life or death situations with their children develop superhuman strength. Last night during a tantrum, I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth.

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They say God only gives you what you can handle. Apparently, God thinks I’m a badass.

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The good thing about water is that you can have it in your workplace. Now, what’s special about vodka is that it looks like water.

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Ten years ago I was cool. Today I awoke to a child’s finger in my nose, wore pj’s all day and applied antiwrinkle cream. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

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Nothing like a woman with a brilliant mind and an indecent mouth.

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Instead of “single” as my relationship status, I prefer “Independently Owned and Operated.”

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I live in a madhouse ruled by a tiny army that I made myself.

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I don’t always learn my lesson. But when I do, you can bet I learned it the hard way.

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In this home we do sharing. We do laughter. We do mistakes. We do real. Sometimes we do silly. We do our best. We do fun. We do grace. We do I’m sorrys. We do loud… really well. / 28″x28″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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There’s room for everyone on the nice list. / 6″x6″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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Not to spoil the ending, but everything is going to be OK.

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I am so glad I was wild & crazy before there were cell phones and evidence / Kitchen Towel

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All I want for Christmas is you. / 6″x6″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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Some things are better left unsaid which I generally realize after I have said them / Kitchen Towel

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wish / 6″x6″ Reclaimed Wood Sign

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We are only as strong as the girlfriends we have.

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Teachers are superheroes. The End.

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Love you to [STATE] and Back

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