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I was going to bake you a cake, but alcohol sounded much better.

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I was diagnosed with OCCABD. Obsessive, compulsive, cursing, angry bitch disorder. There is no cure.

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I want to go home, but my kids are there.

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I want to be a mature adult. I really do. But I also want to eat ice cream and wear pajamas all day. Do you see my dilemma here?

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I want it all and I want it delivered

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I used to have a handle on life. But the handle broke off.

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I Sleep with Dogs / Kitchen Towel

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I Saw That Karma / Kitchen Towel

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I read banned books.

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I never said I would die without coffee. I said other people would. / Natural Kitchen Towel

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I never said I would die without coffee. I said other people would.

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I Need Vitamin SEA / Natural Kitchen Towel

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I need is a little bit of coffee and a whole lotta Jesus

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I need a Tax Person who’s not afraid of prison / Kitchen Towel

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I May Be Wrong but I Doubt It / Kitchen Towel

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I love you, coffee

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I love you till the cows come home (cow icon) Kitchen Towel

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I love you like Biscuits and Gravy Kitchen Towel

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I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.

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I love that you’re my mom.

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