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I’m not responsible for what my face does when you talk / Kitchen Towel

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You never know how weird you are until you have a kid who acts just like you.

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Our greatest blessings… Grandma and Grandpa Kitchen Towel

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Now accepting applications for a partner in crime: Must be fluent in smart ass, sarcasm and adult language. Questionable morals and nudity may be required. Slackers need not apply.

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Remember, as far as everyone knows we are a normal family

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My pets make me breakfast (chicken icon) Kitchen Towel

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My kids call it yelling. I call it motivational speaking for selective listeners.

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To me, “drink responsibly” means DON’T SPILL IT.

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If you don’t cok for you man someone else will … Towel

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Fork you / Kitchen Tea Towel

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I want it all and I want it delivered

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A women gets the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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PARENT OF THE YEAR AWARD: Helping your child search for the chocolate you ate last night.

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Oh. Pilates? I thought you said pie & lattes. Towel

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If a donut falls on the ground and you pick it up.. that’s a squat right / Kitchen Towel

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Dear Lord, when my arms can’t reach those close to my heart, please hug them with my prayers. Amen (Bird image)

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Life is too short to just have one cat.

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Apparently, “alcohol” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

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I don’t always drink wine, but… yes I do.

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Shit creek survivor

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