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One martini, two martini, three martini, Floor!

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Just because it is a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time

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You’re making it difficult for me to be the parent I always imagined I would be.

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My house would be a lot cleaner if my family didn’t live here.

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Dear Lord, when my arms can’t reach those close to my heart, please hug them with my prayers. Amen (Bird image)

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Now accepting applications for a partner in crime: Must be fluent in smart ass, sarcasm and adult language. Questionable morals and nudity may be required. Slackers need not apply.

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Our greatest blessing ..Nana and Papa White Kitchen Towel

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Santa paws stops here

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My kids call it yelling. I call it motivational speaking for selective listeners.

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If you don’t cok for you man someone else will … Towel

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Fork you / Kitchen Tea Towel

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If a donut falls on the ground and you pick it up.. that’s a squat right / Kitchen Towel

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I don’t always drink wine, but… yes I do.

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Shit creek survivor

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Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle

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I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if it runs out, I’ll drink the red.

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Merry Christmas / MS Kitchen Tea Towel

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I accidentally went grocery shopping on a empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 9.

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I’ve lost my mind. I’m pretty sure the kids took it.

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You know what takes longer than a kid telling a story? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

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