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I can tell by your sarcastic undertones… Towel

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I never said I would die without coffee. I said other people would. / Natural Kitchen Towel

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Yes. I am still in my pajamas. What did I accomplish today? The kids are still alive. Say thank you. Now say I’m pretty.

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I was diagnosed with OCCABD. Obsessive, compulsive, cursing, angry bitch disorder. There is no cure.

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Grandma definition White Kitchen Towel

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This year’s goals: Save $10, Lose 2 lbs, … Towel

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I like my butt rubbed and my pork pulled / Kitchen Tea Towel

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I don’t like Morning People.. Or Mornings.. Or People / Kitchen Towel

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I know the voices aren’t real but man do they come up with some great ideas / Kitchen Towel

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I Do Not Have Ducks Or A Row I Have Squirrels Kitchen Towel

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Some days its nice to just relax and have a cocktail and then, other days it’s nice to just relax and have a cocktail.

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PARENT OF THE YEAR AWARD: Helping your child search for the chocolate you ate last night.

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I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for diner.

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Come here you giant cup of beautiful coffee and lie to me about how much we are going to get done today.

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Home is where hair sticks to everything …Towel

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Oh. Pilates? I thought you said pie & lattes. Towel

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If a donut falls on the ground and you pick it up.. that’s a squat right / Kitchen Towel

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Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.

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I’d love to, but my dog said no.

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“Dog Mom” Cotton Tea Towel

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