Humor Towels

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I want to be a mature adult. I really do. But I also want to eat ice cream and wear pajamas all day. Do you see my dilemma here?

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Sorry for what I said during the football game.

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… Who peed on the floor? White Kitchen Towel

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Chill the F*** out. White Kitchen Towel

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If life gives you lemons, make lemonade…and then find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party!

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I just want 15 minutes with no one needing me, touching me, texting me, or talking to me. Is that really too much to ask?

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I don’t sing in the shower. I perform.

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Look at you. All grown up and buying a house Towel

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BFF.Best F****** Friend White Kitchen Towel

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I knew we were friends when you used “… Towel

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I can’t live laugh love in these … White Kitchen Towel

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… Stop licking the ….. White Kitchen Towel

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… Where are your pants? White Kitchen Towel

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… No, I don’t want to smell your hands White Kitchen Towel

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… Boogers are not a snack White Kitchen Towel

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Republican Party. Democratic Party. Wine White Kitchen Towel

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Stop petting my peeves White Kitchen Towel

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It’s Fine. I’m Fine. Everything’s Fine. White Kitchen Towel

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Take Life One Sip At A Time Kitchen Towel

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I’m going to be the life of the party (as long as it all ends by 8:30 pm)

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