Family
Ten years ago I was cool. Today I awoke to a child’s finger in my nose, wore pj’s all day and applied antiwrinkle cream. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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Recipe “A Great Mother” . . .
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Yes. I am still in my pajamas. What did I accomplish today? The kids are still alive. Say thank you. Now say I’m pretty.
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Motherhood. When your fantasies are now about sleeping.
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They say moms placed in a life or death situations with their children develop superhuman strength. Last night during a tantrum, I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth.
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After getting the blanket, pillow, drink, snack, and TV show set, I’m pretty sure my toddler just looked at me and mouthed the words “I own you.”..
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Mom Mommy Mom Mom Mommy Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. There’s no better job.
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And they lived happily ever after.
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The most important work we will ever do is within the walls of our own home.
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You’re making it difficult for me to be the parent I always imagined I would be.
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Mama said there would be days like this.
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Mom, watch this! is your child’s equivalent of “Hold my beer.” It usually means something foolish and dangerous is about to take place.
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You’re ridiculous. And by that I mean we’ll always be friends.
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A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.
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Remember, as far as everyone knows we are a normal family
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HOME is where your MOM is
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Everyone thinks that a girl’s dream is to find the perfect guy. PLEASE… Every girl’s dream is to eat without getting fat.
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Good friends offer advice and wisdom. *Best friends come over unannounced with vodka, super-hero costumes, glitter, fireworks, and bacon.
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All she wanted for Christmas was a nap.
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I’m not saying I am Wonder Woman. I am just saying that no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.
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Motherhood Powered by love. Fueled by coffee. Sustained by wine.
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PARENT OF THE YEAR AWARD: Helping your child search for the chocolate you ate last night.
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