Food & Drink
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
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Step aside coffee. This is a job for alcohol.
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Dear Liver, It is going to be a rough month… STAY STRONG.
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One glass of wine away from telling everyone what I really think.
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Ramen (noun) A gourmet meal for college students and others oppressed by debt.
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I accidentally went grocery shopping on a empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 9.
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No coffee, no workee.
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Grocery List (noun) Document you spend time writing but forget to bring to the store.
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Bacon (noun) The reason I am not a vegetarian.
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Diet Soda (noun) A drink you buy to go with a double cheeseburger and fires.
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Dieting is hard. I left off the spinkles on my cupcake today. (cupcake image)
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I need is a little bit of coffee and a whole lotta Jesus
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Everyone thinks that a girl’s dream is to find the perfect guy. PLEASE… Every girl’s dream is to eat without getting fat.
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Good friends offer advice and wisdom. *Best friends come over unannounced with vodka, super-hero costumes, glitter, fireworks, and bacon.
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How do I like my eggs? Umm, in a cake.
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To me, “drink responsibly” means DON’T SPILL IT.
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Chocolate comes from cocoa, which comes from a tree. That makes chocolate a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as a salad. The End.
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I don’t want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.
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I love you, coffee
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Motherhood Powered by love. Fueled by coffee. Sustained by wine.
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PARENT OF THE YEAR AWARD: Helping your child search for the chocolate you ate last night.
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Come here you giant cup of beautiful coffee and lie to me about how much we are going to get done today.
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To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.
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Unless your parenting advice includes which wine pairs best with six loads of laundry, kindly keep it to yourself.
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