Humor Towels

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Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.

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I don’t always learn my lesson. But when I do, you can bet I learned it the hard way.

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My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

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Hit me with your best pot / Natural Kitchen Towel

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If only there was a vaccine for stupidity / Natural Kitchen Towel

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You are invited to my party. Mainly for your skills at sharing party photos on Facebook.

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Please Use Me Kitchen Towel

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I’m thankful for the three ounce ziploc bag. It gives me somewhere to put my savings.

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I was going to throw in the towel, but then I remembered how much laundry I already have to do.

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I let my email inbox get too full and now I can’t send or receive email. I should have thought of this sooner.

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Can’t touch this / Natural Kitchen Towel

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I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.

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Always carry a knife in your purse. You never know when there will be cake.

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You’re Not Drinking Alone If The Dog Is Home Kitchen Towel

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PROVEN FACT: If you wait long enough to make dinner, everyone will just eat cereal.

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Yes, I can still party like an absolute rock star. However, it would appear that I cannot recover like one.

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Now accepting applications for a partner in crime: Must be fluent in smart ass, sarcasm and adult language. Questionable morals and nudity may be required. Slackers need not apply.

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Shit creek survivor

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You know what takes longer than a kid telling a story? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

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Have kids, they said. It will be fun, they said.

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