For years, I’ve made sure the Tooth Fairy arrived faithfully anytime she was needed. Where the heck is the Alcohol Fairy when I need her?

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Fluent in Fowl Language 2 White Kitchen Towel

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Dear Lord, Please don’t let my husband be home when all my online orders arrive. -Amen..

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Dear Liver, It is going to be a rough month… STAY STRONG.

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Dear Karma, I have a list of people you forgot.

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Controlling My Tongue Is No Problem It’s My Facial Expressions That Need Work Kitchen Towel

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Chocolate comes from cocoa, which comes from a tree. That makes chocolate a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as a salad. The End.

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Chill the F*** out. White Kitchen Towel

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Can’t touch this / Natural Kitchen Towel

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BFF.Best F****** Friend White Kitchen Towel

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Always carry a knife in your purse. You never know when there will be cake.

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… Who peed on the floor? White Kitchen Towel

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… Where are your pants? White Kitchen Towel

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… Stop licking the ….. White Kitchen Towel

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… No, I don’t want to smell your hands White Kitchen Towel

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… Boogers are not a snack White Kitchen Towel

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