Food & Drink Towels

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Come here you giant cup of beautiful coffee and lie to me about how much we are going to get done today.

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How do I like my eggs? Umm, in a cake.

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Nothing says “I mean business” like using a cart at the liquor store.

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I never said I would die without coffee. I said other people would.

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I like to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in my food.

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Whip it. Whip it good.

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Everyone thinks that a girl’s dream is to find the perfect guy. PLEASE… Every girl’s dream is to eat without getting fat.

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I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for diner.

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I need is a little bit of coffee and a whole lotta Jesus

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Calorie (noun) A tiny creature that lives in your closet and sews your clothes a little tighter every night.

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Unless your parenting advice includes which wine pairs best with six loads of laundry, kindly keep it to yourself.

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Coffee Chocolate Men. Some things are just better rich.

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I’ll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte to go, please.

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I was going to bake you a cake, but alcohol sounded much better.

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Some days its nice to just relax and have a cocktail and then, other days it’s nice to just relax and have a cocktail.

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They say moms placed in a life or death situations with their children develop superhuman strength. Last night during a tantrum, I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth.

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Bacon (noun) The reason I am not a vegetarian.

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Good friends offer advice and wisdom. *Best friends come over unannounced with vodka, super-hero costumes, glitter, fireworks, and bacon.

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Anyone else feel like they’ve cooked dinner 795 times this month?

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People disappoint…pizza is eternal.

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